I put down specialist placements as my top three preferences when applying for secondary school. I’d had a specialist placement in mind ever since I began the lengthy and difficult process of applying for an EHCP. He was deep in burnout when the application was made and I was sure that mainstream wouldn’t work for him. He wasn’t allocated a place at any of these due to either unsuitability or capacity. 

Instead, he was allocated a mainstream place that described in detail why they didn’t feel they could meet his needs.

Appealing during phase transfer windows is often considered the best opportunity because tribunals are prioritised at this stage. SENDIASS advised we appeal and take advantage of this, so why didn’t I?

Deciding whether to appeal was a really difficult decision which led to sleepless nights where I grappled with what choice to make. There were many times I doubted I was making the right one. I still get days where I doubt this decision, but I feel now fairly sure that it was the right decision for my son’s future at this point – all things considered.

1. There was no specialist placement I was sure was right for him

I viewed a range of specialist placements; local authority-run specialist schools, an Enhanced Resource Provision (ERP – a specialist unit within a mainstream school), independent specialist schools and our preferred mainstream school. No single school stood out as somewhere I was certain he would thrive. Therefore, it was difficult to justify going through the effort and strain of an appeal when I didn’t have a strong conviction in what I was appealing for.

2. He isn’t ready to attend any school

It felt counterintuitive to spend months fighting for a school place that I knew he still wouldn’t be able to access. He is simply not at a point where he can regularly leave the house, even for things he enjoys doing. School is a long way down the recovery pipeline for him, and even then there is no absolute certainty he will be able to access school-based education again. It will take plenty of time to know what provision will be best for him and I’ve decided to wait until I have more clarity before leading him down a specific path.

3. The opportunity cost was too high

I had spent the previous year gathering evidence, applying for, and appealing for an EHCP to be issued. Prior to that, I had spent the year trying to secure understanding and support for him in primary school. I had started to feel more like a manager than a parent. I spent so much time on admin in a desperate attempt to help him, but from his perspective I may have appeared preoccupied and unavailable. I simply hit a wall where I wasn’t willing to spend more of my time engaging with battles with the local authority. Some may argue that I had fallen at the final hurdle, but for me this was something I could just feel in my bones that I could not do at this moment in time. I wanted to pour that energy into being present and being there for him when he needed me, instead.

4. I wanted to protect his recovery time

Recovery from autistic burnout is long and what he needs is time without pressure from others. I suspected that if a specialist placement is granted, there would be greater attendance pressure than there is now. At present, he is unable to attend school and we have evidence to support this. We are not enforced to send him in when he clearly cannot cope.

One of my concerns was that because specialist placements are expensive and in limited supply, there might be greater pressure to attend if he were on roll. When my son still struggles to leave the house, I knew this wouldn’t be the case. I knew what he needs is time without pressure.

This is not based on experience, and could well be wrong, but this felt like the reality for us personally at this time.

5. He missed (some of) his previous peers

I nearly didn’t write this one, because even eight months in he still gets very nervous about seeing people from his primary school and has had negative  experiences with some of them. I’m still split as to whether familiarity with peers should he ever attend the mainstream secondary school will be a pro or a con, and whether a fresh start would have been better. However, he has a strong desire to see the few peers who he previously connected with.  Increasingly frequently he has felt lonely. For now, I wanted the prospect of rejoining the friends at secondary school to remain open, even though there is a chance he may never access it.

6. Keeping his options open

The mainstream school he has a place at has a supportive ethos, and I don’t want him to lose his place there at this stage. It would be hard to access it again in future. It has a relatively small intake compared to other schools in the city and is usually the most oversubscribed. I got a good feeling from the school overall – the staff seemed caring and in my dealings with them so far, I have come away with a good impression. If he can and wants to try mainstream when or if he is ready for school, I wanted him to have the chance to attend this one rather than whichever one has places if that time comes.

7. He has access to a phased transition

This means he is not expected by the school to start in September 2026. I don’t think all schools would support this, but they do appear relatively sympathetic and he is able to continue accessing the (light touch) alternate provision he currently accesses from home while he recovers. He would be offered the opportunity to gradually phase into school life if and when he is ready. It is a worry that he is missing out on transition events and new starter life, because it will make it all the more challenging if he is ever able to access the school. But unfortunately this is just the way timing has panned out for us, and we have to avoid unhelpful pressure above all else.

8. Home education feels like it could be the most viable plan B for him

If I had to guess the most likely option about what he needs in the long term, elective home education would be where I place my bet. If we decide to home educate, I would find this easier without first committing time and energy to an appeal process.

9. It won’t be our last chance to appeal for a different school place

If it becomes apparent in future that a specialist school place or an EOTAS package is absolutely what’s needed, there will be the opportunity again. I am painfully aware that it is much quicker to appeal during the phase transfer window, and I have let this opportunity pass me by, but I decided I would be more comfortable appealing when it is clear what we need to appeal for, even if it takes years.

Final thoughts

Of course everyone’s child and circumstances differ. There are too many variables to be able to generalise. But I thought it might be helpful to document my thought process and explain why I made a decision that went against advice in the end. 

I may one day wish I’d chosen differently, or it may become increasingly clear that I made the right choice for my son. For now I will focus on protecting his peace, giving him time to recover and allowing the right option for him to become clearer in the fullness of time.